Talbot’s. Ernest Hemingway. Blue jeans. See the connection? Neither do I. But the clothing company Talbot’s–a school-teachery line attempting to hipsterize itself with an ad campaign featuring Linda Evangelista in a leopard-print trench–is offering a trip to Paris. To enter the contest, submit a six-word story with a blue jeans theme. (The format is inspired by Hemingway’s “For sale: Baby shoes, never used.”) Bonne chance!

I'm ready for a shoe revolution. Thick-soled platforms are looking too drag queeny these days, and the garage-sale shoes—the ones with all manner of fringe and gee gaws hanging off them—call to mind Deee-lite and other bands from the early '90s. As for this Cesare Paciotti number—Ankle of the half shell?--WTF? Don't you just thirst for a simple kitten heel? Wither mules?

In the Bloomingdale's to open Thursday at Santa Monica Place, the black-and-white checkerboard floor reminds me of New York. But that’s the only Manhattan aspect of this anchor store for the revamped mall. All the other design elements—photo murals of the beach, a driftwood mobile, light-colored wood, are as beachy as the location. At 80,000 square feet, the store is actually a small "footprint" for Bloomingdale's, which has seven other California stores, 41 total. A preview this morning proved the interior design more intriguing than the goods on offer. "It's a simple, casual mix that reflects the community," said Jack Hruska, Executive Vice President of Design and Visuals. Since Santa Monica style is more about comfort than cutting-edge fashion, the store carries Cali-casual brands: James Perse, BCBG Max Azria, and lots of jeans and T-shirts. From New York are the contemporary staples DKNY, Nanette Lepore, Theory, Eileen Fisher. One exclusive is on the French line Armor Lux, but since the label's claim to fame is the striped Breton fisherman's sweater—a classic replicated ad infinitum—it doesn’t feel all that recherché. To be fair, the handbag selection is pretty fierce, and the cosmetics areas are very glam. Changing rooms are circular pods that descend from the ceiling. A revolving metal rack near the ceiling will be used to hang rotating mannequins. It's must-see from a visual point of view; I'm crossing my fingers that it will become a must-shop spot, too.

Chinese spa treatments are graduating from bargain-basement foot massages in the San Gabriel Valley. The Sunset Foot Spa in East Hollywood has been such a success that the Mondrian's Agua Spa, on the Strip, now offers therapists from that spot on call. (The rate for an hour's reflexology massage, with some back and neck action thrown in, is $25 at Sunset Foot Spa and, of course, more in the tonier setting of the hotel). The Huntington Spa, in Pasadena, is taking the Chinese treatment concept a step further with Chuan ("flowing water") treatments. To my knowledge it is the first full-on luxury Chinese spa experience offered in the region. For the "Harmony" massage, you are asked to fill out a short questionnaire on preferred colors, foods, and seasons, as well as recent concerns such as body aches and stress levels. Based on the answers, the therapist concocts an oil (for your acupressure massage) and a tea (for post-massage chill-out) that is supposed to help balance the elements of fire, water, earth, metal, and wood. You begin the massage by repeating a word three times on an exhale (like the "om"s emitted at the start or end of a yoga session) and are asked to focus on a color. Say what you will about the woo-woo aspects of the experience: as soon as the therapist started accupressur-ing my neck, I felt tingles go down my body to my feet. Though he worked out some kinks in my shoulders—those balls of lactic acid that develop in your muscles when you hunch over a computer all day—it wasn't your typical bread-kneading massage. If you have passed the point of feeling like a pummeling is required to get your money’s worth, I recommend it.

Nina Clemente (at right in pic) was nicknamed "the sexy chef" last night after preparing a four-course organic meal wearing high heels by L.A. designer Calleen Cordero (left). "I have been wearing these shoes all night," Clemente exclaimed as she served cornhusk soup and black cod with quinoa to a group of applauding editors and friends (including House M.D. actress Lisa Edelstein, pictured). "At this point I would usually kick them off, but these are so comfortable!" Rose Apodaca, who hosted the event, echoed the sentiment. "I bought a pair of Calleen's shoes 10 years ago. They're still in perfect condition and so comfortable that I wear them constantly." Held at Cordero's Beverly Boulevard store, the soiree was a celebration of her 26 years as a shoe (and accessories) designer and an opportunity to learn about her artistry. It's hard to believe that the young Cordero has been in business for more than a quarter century. She started early: "When I was 16 years old I graduated from high school early and immediately began working with some of the great shoe designers, like Stephan Kelian," Cordero told me. After stints at Steve Madden and Dr. Martens, she began her own line 11 years ago. "Everything is handmade and all of the materials are local and sustainable," said Cordero, as she held up a black leather clog with a hand-carved wooden heel. "We don't import anything except for the leather, which comes from Italy." The customization she offers allows each shop that carries her line to have exclusives. "I work with boutiques and buyers to come up with pieces that would best suit them,” said Cordero, showing a leather bag with a semi-precious stone nestled in it. "So if they want this bag, but in another color, I will make it for them." It's refreshing to see a designer keep that artisanal approach as she expands rather than explode into licensing and outsourcing.

Champagne: check. Receiving line: check. Tent set in grounds resembling France's Château de Villandry mazelike gardens: check. The only thing missing from Christopher Bailey's side was a bride. Last Wednesday afternoon the CEO of Burberry introduced Burberry Beauty, the label's first makeup collection. At a private residence in Beverly Hills, the line of editors, stylists, and fans to speak to the man of the hour grew as startlet after starlet sauntered in clad in Burberry Prorsum dresses. Venus Williams chose a satin Burgundy dress, while model May Anderson wore a powder blue draped number. "We're having drinks at Chateau later--you should join us," actress Kate Bosworth, who was sporting a nude lace dress, said to Bailey. If only. "I leave for London in a few hours," he demurred. "It's been a long week." After sticking my fingers in all the blushes and powders on display, I noticed they were exceptionally sheer. "I wanted to have makeup that you could build upon and layer," Bailey told me. "So the colors can coincide with the clothes." He added, "The makeup we used for the [advertising] campaigns before were too cakey and didn't make sense with the clothing." The line encompasses everything from foundation to lip gloss (which has a sweet rosy, violet scent) and comes clad in packaging with the trademark Burberry check. Bailey's favorite? "I love the Brick Red Lip Cover lipstick. It's classic."

I don't even know why I'm here," Andy Samberg said to me last Thursday. Others might have wondered the same thing. It was a July night in Southern California, but temperatures barely hit 64 degrees, and the event involved a journalist and a filmmaker debating global warming before an audience of celebs. The event was put on by a--wait for it--car company. And the moderator? Lexus chose the SNL star to lend a comedic spin to "The Darker Side of Green," in which Phelim McAleer, director of Not Evil Just Wrong, a doc challenging An Inconvenient Truth, duked it out with Emmy winning journalist Simran Sethi, an environmantalist. It was part of Lexus' launch of the CT 200h Hybrid, held at the Palihouse in West Hollywood and attended by Jeremy Piven, Adrien Brody, Ashton Kutcher, Sophia Bush, Kristen Bell and Mark McGrath. Before the "show," I asked Samberg what he'd do if the debate got intense. "I've got a briefcase full of Tasers and dart guns with sedatives in them," he said, "But then again, I might just shoot those into the crowd just to see what happens."

 Photos by Brian Thompson 

While most of L.A. was huffing barbecued burgers and hot dogs, I took advantage of light traffic this past holiday weekend to case out some new stores that have opened or will soon. The most interesting find was Ranch 'n Roll. Located in the unlikely spot of 5106 Fountain Avenue, near the corner of Normandie--there's no other retail in the area but it's close to Zankou Chicken!--this Seattle import specializes in Western furniture and apparel with an indie vibe. Owner Libby Knudson buys cushy '50s upholstered chairs and revamps them with Mexican blankets or Indian-motif bedspread fabric. In the clothing category, Betty Oatmeal designer Karen Davisson makes photo-prints of country albums--think Loretta Lynn--and uses them as panels for shirts and other garments. The most covetable item in the spacious shop is a blouse made of a vintage Los Angeles-themed tablecloth, with "Pasadena," "Wilshire Boulevard" and even "Figueroa" emblazoned on it.

Pyrrha,  a new jewelry shop, has just opened its doors across the street from Joan's on Third. A Vancouver couple, vegetarians who believe in small-batch, locally made products, named their jewelry company after the daughter of Pandora in Greek mythology. Their specialty is casts of vintage wax seals. Animals real and imagined, elaborate crests, or stylized letters of the alphabet are imperfectly centered in pendants, rings, and bracelets make of bronze, silver, or gold. The shop, at 8315 W. Third St., is open 7 days a week.

And finally: Do we need another Frenchman selling us designer denim steeped in an aura of Americana? Robin Chretien is hoping so. The gallic God (sorry, but he's tall, tan, handsome, and accented) was hammering vintage American shop signs to the walls this Fourth of July in a Beverly Drive space. Saks and Nordstrom stores sell some of his his Robin’s Jeans line, but only here will the full collection be carried, he told me (after I’d invited myself in). Shoes, leather pieces, belts, and shirts will round out the merchandise--plus a case of jewelry from Avant Garde, a French (of course) line that his its own shop on Melrose.

Starlets and stylists gathered at the Chateau Marmont's PH suite in West Hollywood Wednesday evening for a cocktail party and preview of Loft's fall 2010 collection. Models sporting looks from the collection perched on a couch or chair posing every few minutes. The host of the event, celebrity stylist Nicole Chavez, styled the models, pairing tweed and leather skirts with fine tanks and cropped blazers. "It's eclectic, accessible, and it looks young but not too young," Chavez told me. What I liked best were an A-line leather skirt and a short army green jacket. One of the stylist’s clients, actress Brittany Snow, (left in photo with Chavez) of TV show American Dreams, was also in attendance as were designer-and-stylist duo Emily Current and Merritt Elliott. Though the line’s "playful working girl" aesthetic—slightly more fashionable than that of Ann Taylor—seemed about the same to me, the line's name was shortened to "Loft" nine months ago. It is still owned by Ann Taylor, and is still a great resource for career-wear on a budget. "It just got confusing from a market standpoint as well as to the shopper, so we're keeping it separate," said Loft’s style director Alia Ahmed-Yahia.

Photos by Stefanie Keenan/Wire Image