Oh how fondly I remember the glorious heydays of 1982.  Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder gave us the unforgettable song Ebony and Ivory; one of television’s most popular shows was Joanie Loves Chachi; Sidney Sheldon was on the best-seller list and the Tylenol scare was topping the news. 

What? You don’t feel passionately about the glory days of the early 80s? Well, if you do long to see what culture and life was like back in 1982, I suggest you scurry to the Pantages Theatre to see a relic from Broadway back then: Cats. 

Mind you, you won’t see the same show that appeared at the Winter Garden in New York and had its first local run at the now-defunct Shubert Theatre in Century City. Not that the show has changed. It’s just gotten worn down, cheaper and time has not been kind.

For both of you in Los Angeles who have never heard of Cats or seen the show, it is based on T.S. Eliot’s Old Possums Book of Practical Cats and was written by Andrew Lloyd Webber. One cat will get a chance for another jellicle life and go up to the heavyside layer. It doesn’t make a lot of sense in print and makes about as much sense on stage.

Cats, which became the longest running show in Broadway history until Phantom of the Opera, was a phenomenon at the time.   However it is now seriously showing its age. What doesn’t help is the cheapness that embodies this production.

For the longest time I thought this set was inflated. I was only persuaded it wasn’t when I heard it crack and creak during the second act. The orchestra, if I can call it that, amounts to two keyboards, guitar, bass, drums and three horns. Andrew Lloyd Webber can write lush melodies, but without the proper instrumentation to present that richness, it only sounds like a second-rate Vangelis recording with echoes of E.L.O. thrown in for good measure. (No offense meant to E.L.O.) Even the sound mixer must have thought something was missing since the second act was noticeably louder than the first.

I fondly remember how exciting the choreography by Gillian Lynne and the direction by Trevor Nunn were. Sorry folks, they have been replaced. This touring production is directed and choreographed by Richard Stafford.  I don’t know what his work was like on his sole Broadway credit, In My Life.  However, if his work on this production of Cats is any indication, I can certainly understand one reason why that show only ran for 61 performances. This Cats is flat, uninspired and took what were its strongest assets and made them positively mediocre.

Cats is a dance show more than anything else. The company dances their butts off. While some of the performances are enjoyable, Anastasia Lange as “Grizabella” seriously over-emotes and over-sings the last half of “Memory.” She also is made to look like she’s playing “Cruella De Ville” in 101 Dalmatians.

In summary, there is a lyric at the end of the show from the song “The Ad-Dressing of Cats” that goes: “So first, your memory I’ll jog and say: A cat is not a dog.” This one is.

Photograph by Angela Weiss / Getty Images

It seems as though each time I write about theatre it is always about the big shows at the Pantages or the Music Center or in New York.  So I decided to go to the Celebration Theatre and see the west coast premiere of a play called Haram Iran.

The word “haram” means forbidden.  And given the venue for this play, you know right away what is forbidden.  “The love that dare not speak its name” in Oscar Wilde’s day is apparently non-existent in Iran.  After all, Iran’s President Ahmadinejad declared (and this is paraphrased in the play) that there are no homosexuals in Iran. So within the context of contemporary Iran, we are introduced to three teenage boys:  “Ayaz” the boy who always has his head in books written in English (also “haram”); “Mahmoud” the soccer-playing student who needs to be tutored by “Ayaz” and “Fareed” the total jock who only cares about soccer.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out quickly that “Ayaz” and “Mahmoud” are going to find that all the time they spend together (mostly discussing The Catcher in the Rye) will lead them to explore more than just the writing of J.D. Salinger.  Unfortunately one compassionate act, though not overtly sexual, would be seen by “Fareed” who suddenly becomes the jilted friend.  His exposing of the two boys results in a second-act imprisonment and trial.

Jay Paul Deratany, who is also an attorney in Chicago, wrote Haram Iran.  The play is stuffed with human rights issues galore.  Sadly, it is so slave to its own agenda that what is left out is any reason to emotionally respond to the story. I responded to the tragedy of this story.  But it was an intellectual response and not an emotional one.

One huge problem is the show is filled with performances from a cast that mostly feels the best way to communicate is to scream and yell a lot (to make sure we get the point?)  I don’t know if Mr. Deratany wrote the play to be calibrated at such high decibels or if that was a choice made by director Michael Matthews.  There were certainly several moments when I thought of “Michael Corleone” in The Godfather and how his power and strength came from never raising his voice.

The glowing standout however is Tamer Aziz as “Ayaz.”  His performance is filled with such simplicity and grace that I wished more of his cast mates would follow suit.  A freshman at UCSB, I will definitely keep an eye out for him. 

Haram Iran is one of those plays that the bleeding heart/liberal in me can say, “It’s good that this story is being told.”  Its topicality cannot be denied since there are so many attacks on gays in our own country.  Just ask state senator Roy Ashburn.   Haram indeed!  But if all I needed was information, I could read the newspaper.  I attend the theatre for more.

The Royal/T gallery and café in Culver City is a manga-spliced J-pop anomaly in the L.A. art scene, which recently opened The Never Ending Story: Fairytale, Fantasy, Obsession, an exhibit featuring pieces from owner Susan Hancock’s personal collection. The art connoisseur, entrepreneur, and part-time psychic has owned and operated the gallery for the last five years. She’s spent the last ten bringing together a culturally diverse cast of contemporary artists. To make The Never Ending Story especially brilliant, Hancock asked fellow New Yorker and art aficionado Laura Hoptman to design the exhibit. By combining an “Alice in Wonderland” theme (despite the title, the show has no connection to that other fantasy film) with the gallery’s trademark cos-play, she conveys the mind-altering aesthetics of surrealism.

At the show’s February 4 opening, a frenzy of “Alice” impersonators elegantly passed through the gallery in gothic costumes—pale blues, mat-black lace, and death metal eye shadow accentuated curious conversations throughout the space. In a corner, Jared Gold’s handcrafted collections of accessories and clothing were on display for sale and appreciation. The designer’s rich compositions, 19^th century luxury items reworked in pastels, blend history and modern ideals into a signature, and they perfectly complimented the artwork haunting the walls: anthropomorphic phantasms from the most primal reaches of artist Wangechi Mutu’s daydreams. In Mutu’s “Your Story, My Curse,” the most prominently displayed piece, the divine dreariness of purgatory creates a space of uncomfortable self-reflection. This mixed-media cerebral assault invites the viewer to relive past jealousy, lust, obsession, and fruitless romances. The colorful palette is deceptive—patterns scattered across each figure in the piece recall Gustav Klimt’s charm, but their vibrant hues undermine the menacing drama and growing tension running through the canvas. It’s a living nightmare that’s hard to forget.

This city grows curiouser and curiouser: the show continues its outlandish parade through August 4.

By Jesse Alvarez

You know the drill: Post your picks for these 16 Oscar categories in the comment feed below to enter the Spyglass Blog Pool. The reader with the most correct predictions wins a one-year subscription to Los Angeles. It's not a gold trophy, sure, but we like to think it'll make people really, really like you.

Best Picture
Avatar,  James Cameron and Jon Landau
The Blind Side, Gil Netter, Andrew A. Kosove and Broderick Johnson
District 9, Peter Jackson and Carolynne Cunningham
An Education, Finola Dwyer and Amanda Posey
The Hurt Locker, Kathryn Bigelow, Mark Boal, Nicolas Chartier and Greg Shapiro
Inglourious Basterds, Lawrence Bender
Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire, Lee Daniels, Sarah Siegel, Magness and Gary Magness
A Serious Man, Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
Up, Jonas Rivera
Up in the Air, Daniel Dubiecki, Ivan Reitman and Jason Reitman

Actor in a Leading Role
Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
George Clooney, Up in the Air
Colin Firth, A Single Man
Morgan Freeman, Invictus
Jeremy Renner, The Hurt Locker

Actor in a Supporting Role
Matt Damon, Invictus
Woody Harrelson, The Messenger
Christopher Plummer, The Last Station
Stanley Tucci, The Lovely Bones
Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

Actress in a Leading Role
Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
Helen Mirren, The Last Station
Carey Mulligan, An Education
Gabourey Sidibe, Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire
Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia

Actress in a Supporting Role
Penélope Cruz, Nine
Vera Farmiga, Up in the Air
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Crazy Heart
Anna Kendrick, Up in the Air
Mo'Nique, Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire

Animated Feature Film
Coraline, Henry Selick
Fantastic Mr. Fox, Wes Anderson
The Princess and the Frog, John Musker and Ron Clements
The Secret of Kells, Tomm Moore
Up, Pete Docter

Cinematography
Avatar, Mauro Fiore
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Bruno Delbonnel
The Hurt Locker, Barry Ackroyd
Inglourious Basterds, Robert Richardson
The White Ribbon (Das Weisse Band), Christian Berger

Costume Design
Bright Star, Janet Patterson
Coco Before Chanel, Catherine Leterrier
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, Monique Prudhomme
Nine, Colleen Atwood
The Young Victoria, Sandy Powell

Directing
Avatar, James Cameron
The Hurt Locker, Kathryn Bigelow
Inglourious Basterds, Quentin Tarantino
Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire, Lee Daniels
Up in the Air, Jason Reitman

Documentary Feature
Burma VJ, Anders Østergaard and Lise Lense-Møller
The Cove, Louie Psihoyos and Fisher Stevens
Food, Inc., Robert Kenner and Elise Pearlstein
The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers, Judith Ehrlich and Rick Goldsmith
Which Way Home, Rebecca Cammisa

Film Editing
Avatar, Stephen Rivkin, John Refoua and James Cameron
District 9, Julian Clarke
The Hurt Locker, Bob Murawski and Chris Innis
Inglourious Basterds, Sally Menke
Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire, Joe Klotz

Music (Original Score)
Avatar, James Horner
Fantastic Mr. Fox, Alexandre Desplat
The Hurt Locker, Marco Beltrami and Buck Sanders
Sherlock Holmes, Hans Zimmer
Up, Michael Giacchino

Music (Original Song)
The Princess and the Frog, "Almost There"
Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
The Princess and the Frog, "Down in New Orleans" Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
Paris 36, "Loin de Paname"
Music by Reinhardt Wagner
Lyric by Frank Thomas
Nine, "Take It All"
Music and Lyric by Maury Yeston
Crazy Heart, "The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)"
Music and Lyric by Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett

Visual Effects
Avatar, Joe Letteri, Stephen Rosenbaum, Richard Baneham and Andrew R. Jones
District 9, Dan Kaufman, Peter Muyzers, Robert Habros and Matt Aitken
Star Trek, Roger Guyett, Russell Earl, Paul Kavanagh and Burt Dalton

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)
District 9, Written by Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell
An Education, Screenplay by Nick Hornby
In the Loop, Screenplay by Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche
Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire, Screenplay by Geoffrey Fletcher
Up in the Air, Screenplay by Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner

Writing (Original Screenplay)
The Hurt Locker, Written by Mark Boal
Inglourious Basterds, Written by Quentin Tarantino
The Messenger, Written by Alessandro Camon & Oren Moverman
A Serious Man, Written by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
Up, Screenplay by Bob Peterson, Pete Docter. Story by Pete Docter, Bob Peterson, Tom McCarthy

PLUS: Download an Oscar ballot

When the invitation to see Dreamgirls at the Ahmanson Theatre came my way, I was sorely tempted to respond, “and I’m telling you I’m not going.”  What could this production offer that the original and the film didn’t already accomplish? In spite of my first thought, I attended opening night.

The place was packed with Dreamgirls alumni:  Jennifer Holliday, Loretta Devine, Ken Page (who appeared in the film) and the show’s composer Henry Krieger.  Plus Donna McKechnie, who originated the role of “Cassie” in original Dreamgirls director Michael Bennett’s A Chorus Line, was there.   I passed her in the aisle “and I said nothing.” 

There was a strong sense of excitement filling the house.  Which was the problem from the very start.  As each character took her place on the stage (“Deena,” “Lorell” and ultimately “Effie”) the audience responded with a sense of familiarity reserved for the stage’s brightest stars (or movie stars on stage just because of who they are.) But do you know who Syesha Mercado, Adrienne Warren and Moya Angela are?  Of course not.  Due to Bill Condon’s movie and the power of the writing of Krieger and Tom Eyen, these characters have become so entrenched in our psyche that it is they who now get the response from the audience.  It felt as if I were attending a screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

As for the production, perhaps the biggest change in the show is the use of projection elements.  Sometimes they showed action that was taking place on stage.  I don’t know if it was live (and I seriously doubt it was), but it left those sequences feeling so tightly rehearsed they left little room for the spontaneity of live performance.  As a result they felt about as natural as a Madonna concert. (As an aside while I’m invoking divas, Cher could take a lesson in quick costume changes from this production.)

The other change is the inclusion of the song “Listen” that was written for the film.  Though strongly performed in the show by Ms. Mercado and Ms. Angela, I still have a hard time believing that the lesser-singer “Deena” suddenly finds a voice so big that she actually could be a lead singer of a group and not just eye candy to make the act more marketable.

The cast sings their guts out.  And that, too, is a problem.  I felt like at any moment their guts really would come out.  Ms. Angela  as “Effie” has a gorgeous voice.  It is just too bad that the quieter moments so quickly give way to bombast for those moments were heartbreaking.  By abandoning subtlety so quickly the songs had much less impact than they should.   There were two standouts in the show for very different reasons.  Chaz Lamar Shepherd who plays “Curtis Taylor, Jr.” was dull as dull gets.  The flip side was Chester Gregory who plays “Jimmy Early.”  He was a total delight from the opening of the show and his performance of “I Want You Baby” in the first act was delirious fun.

Delirious fun mixed with great drama is what I was hoping for from this evening.  But there was absolutely no sense of discovery or even rediscovery in the material.  It all felt too familiar.  Which is too bad.  I do like Dreamgirls. I just wish I had liked this production.

Photograph by Joan Marcus